ADD

ahhhhhhgggggg!!!! That is what I feel like doing right now, running outside and screaming away my frustrations. I feel so lost on what to do. Riley is my beautiful, creative, kind, smart, imaginative daughter that I love with all my heart!! But as every year goes by and every grade she climbs it just keeps getting more and more challenging. I have been told by numerous people and teachers and counselors that they believe she may be ADD. But I have always never believed in it, honestly I felt it was just a label they would give to kids that were difficult or where parents were lazy and it was easier to just label their kid instead of parent them. I am starting to change my mind and think that this is really a real disorder.

     We have tried everything! From diet to behavioral techniques to time outs, talking through problems, redirecting, taking things away and having her earn them back, picking up rocks in the back yard, and even a spanking! Nothing works nothing gets through to her and at the same time she is completely suffering too! Wondering why she keeps messing up and can't make right choices.

     We really started taking notice to it in first grade, there were other instances before that, but the main things started happening in Mrs. Brunells first grade class. It started with notes being sent home that Riley couldn't stay on task, and was always disruptive in class. We would talk to Riley and explain to her that when she talks during times that aren't appropriate that it not only keeps her from doing her work but it keeps the other children in the class from doing theirs. Then it would be calls from the teacher that Riley was causing rifts with other kids on who was her friends and that if they didn't play with her that day it would hurt her feelings and she would tell them they weren't her friends anymore. We again would have to explain to her that it is okay to have more than one friend and that if one of her friends was playing with someone else one day that that was okay and for her to go play with another one of her friends. Non of it stopped, we kept getting calls and calls that she could not keep on task and that the friends fighting thing was still out of control. I went in and spoke with the school counselor and got Riley into a friends group hoping it would help, but it didn't, I would ask Riley what she learned in the friends class that day and she would just shrug her shoulders and say " I don't know, I don't remember" What do you mean you don't remember? You just had the class two hours ago? and again I would get a "I don't know? I don't remember?" ahhhhggg!!! okay deep breath...... (so then in my mind I thought I will do my own friends class with her at home) so we sit down, I explain to her again the meaning of friends, and that it is okay to have lots of different friends, because then you have a variety of people to play with! That you don't have to have just one friend, and all she can have is just you as a friend, "do you understand that Riley?" Then she would reply with "whats for snack?" WHAT???? "did you not just hear what I said honey? " her reply "Yeah I just got real hungry mama" so then I would just leave it at that and hope that it sunk in somewhere, but it didn't, the next day I would get a call again!!! And this continued and continued the entire first grade.

   So for second grade me and my husband made an appointment to see if we could get her into a class that had more structure and a teacher with a lot of patience that could really work with Riley. We got a blessing that year because her second grade teacher Mrs. Tilque was just what Riley needed! She really worked with me and Riley and we kept communication constantly open! From what happened at home to what happened at school. We still had problems, but we kept on it and it seemed not as stressed as the year before. It was still very hard to keep Riley on task though. Simple homework would take hours and hours at night with me and Corey having to switch on and off so that we wouldn't get frustrated. she was really falling behind, so with agreement to her teachers suggestion we had her put in a special one on one math and reading class, which did help. Mrs. Tilque would also bring up that she believes Riley may be ADD and she suggested we bring up her behavior to her pediatrician. But again I didn't believe ADD was real and I told her my concerns about Dr.s jumping to diagnose kids with it and medicating, so that I would just like to continue with what we were doing and eventually she would pick it up and understand and things would be fine. Mrs. Tilque warned us that the transition from second grade to third was a hard one, that kids were expected to be much more independent on their work habits and she felt it would be difficult for Riley, so with our permission she would like to ask that Riley was placed with this specific third grade teacher that she felt would be a good fit for Riley, and we agreed.

   Third grade so far has been hell!!! It is the worst year ever!!! I feel like me and Corey are pulling our hair out because we feel lost! We don't know what to do? Riley is supposed to turn her homework into the teacher every day, well every day she forgets! I literally remind her every morning as we are pulling into school= Me="whats the first thing you are going to do when you walk into your class?' Riley="take my homework to my teacher" but then when I pull her folder out at night to start that days homework, her old homework is still in there!!!! me="Riley, why is your homework still in your backpack?" Riley= "oh no, I forgot!!!" and then she starts crying. This is an everyday thing we go through, and by Thursday after three days of forgetting I have to literally walk in with her and make sure she hands it over.

     That's not all though, the everyday calls have started back up again, her teacher telling me she is being disruptive and talking during work time, that her teacher cant keep her on task, she cries because her friends are playing with other people, and then some days she cries because she has no friends. I am constantly in talking with the counselor and in the classroom, hoping that if I am in there that I can help keep her on task. But that doesn't work either, because me being in there becomes a distraction to her and she gets even more of task!! It is now starting to effect her emotionally to where I think she feels like something is wrong with her because so many people are constantly saying "Riley, pay attention. Riley, stop talking. Riley why would you do that? what makes you think that was okay. Riley, worry about what you are doing and not what others are doing. Riley! Riley! Riley!" That is what she constantly hears, but it is so frustrating because you start off so calm and trying to talk to her and it doesn't work and it just keeps continuing and you find your self loosing your patience and then she is crying! and it is a mess!!! I know she is not attention deprived because we are constantly telling her we love her and kiss and hug her, read to her, play barbies with her, run around the house and wrestle, eat dinner together at the table every night, snuggle when watching movies, laugh together and cry together. I have gone to the point many times to where I just go to the bathroom and cry, thinking where did we go wrong? What are we doing  wrong? What have we not tried that might work? I don't know? last week was my breaking point. Riley got in trouble again at school and got a time out, and her teacher took her to the side and asked her why she had done what she did? That she had told her numerous times that it was not okay and that she still did it? Riley started to cry and shrugged her shoulders and said "I don't know?" Mrs. Wiser told her that she was going to have to call me and let me know what happened, and Riley completely flipped out! Crying and screaming that Mrs. Wiser was not her friend because a friend wouldn't do that! They ended up having to take Riley to the nurses room to calm her down and call me because she was hyperventilating herself! She is just as frustrated with this as we are and she doesn't know how to cope with it either.

   So I know many people are probably thinking right now, that she is just a bad kid and we aren't that great of parents. But I can assure you that if you are thinking that, you are completely wrong!! We are so involved with our kids and have dealt with this in every angle we can think of! We are Not by any means Lazy parents! Now seeing how bad this is affecting Riley I am now thinking I am wrong about ADD and maybe it does exist, and I am now making an appointment with her physician to discuss this further, because we have literally gone down every other avenue and nothing is working and we are suffering and she is suffering and her schooling is suffering! And every symptom of ADD is her to a T! at this point I even think medication is worth trying. My mother in law works at a school as the main secretary and she says there is a little boy that is exactly like Riley and the parents, teacher and this little boy struggled every year! The parents finally decided to medicate and this little boy is completely different now. My Mother in law says he is happy, making friends, never in the principals office anymore, his grades are going up and he is loving and into baseball now! So is that the answer for some kids? Is ADD real? and for some is medication the only answer? We have tried everything else? What if it works for Riley? These are the things that are currently going through my brain.

Oh Cody! Could you be any cuter!

My dear sweet Cody, your personality is amazing and your heart is so big! You say the cutest things also!!! I love you so much and remember "no matter how big you get, you'll always be my baby boy!"

    Last week was not so happy when Riley threw a barbie at the T.V. and shattered the front of the LCD screen!! First thing we wanted to do was tell her to go and get a job because she was paying us back for the amount of the T.V! But of course that was not reality because she is only 8. So instead she lost  a lot of things from her room that were worth value to her and she has to do chores around the house to earn them back. Well the other night Cody was sitting on the couch watching cartoons and I was going around the house picking up. When I walked by Cody he said to me "pick up my robe and slippers and put them in my room" What? was he talking to me that way? I said "excuse me but you don't talk to your mommy that way!!! you can ask nicely and say please! now you can go put your slippers and robe to your room and go and sit in time out!" he then started to cry and said "I'm sorry mama, you can take important stuff out of my room and I will earn them back"  hahahah it cracked me up!!

Some other funny things, Cody-"mama, what will you look like when you are a grandma?" Me- "I will look the same, just with a lot more wrinkles." Cody- (crying) "I don't want you to get wrinkles!!" haha

Cody- "I know how to say American flag in English!" "hola! my name is Cody" hahaha

OOTD

Dress from Za Zen in Portland, Or.

Boots I have no idea I really don't remember but they were from a store in the mall.

Tank top underneath dress and tights from Target.

A week of pain and no sleep:(

So Cody had his tonsils, adenoids and ear tubes removed and his ear drums patched up, and it was honestly a lot worse than I thought it would be. his tonsils were so big that at night they would block his throat up to were he couldn't breath and he would wake up choking, so after lots of consideration we decided to agree with the doctor that they needed to be removed.  Before his surgery I had explained to him that they were going to take his tonsils out and I showed him with a flashlight and mirror where they were and that they were going to give him some sleepy medicine and when he woke up that his throat was going to be very sore. So because of that we get to go to the store where he will get to help me pick out tons of special treats to eat that will be easy on his throat til it healed. He understood the best I thought he could and he agreed to everything. The day of his surgery everything was going great, and he was very calm, and not nervous, but all of that changed when he woke up in recovery. They wouldn't let us go back to recovery until after he was awake, which I understand because for some parents it might be traumatizing to see their child shaking and convulsing as they are going through the wake up process. But what I don't agree with is that he woke up in a room all by himself! He told me that when he woke up no one was in there with him and he started to cry because he was scared and didn't know where he was and then someone came in! That breaks my heart and I very nicely and calmly advised them that they might want to rethink how they work that process because that was very traumatizing to him! We stayed in recovery with him rocking, comforting and kissing him till he was awake enough to go home.

    Once we were home he took a very long nap and woke up still seaming okay! I thought "wow, this isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be?" at the hospital they had given him a pretty strong pain medication (obviously realizing now that's why it wasn't so bad that first day because he was on the good stuff) and told us once home to alternate Tylenol and Ibuprofen every three hours, and they stressed to us to not skip or fall behind on a dose, because once that happened he would feel the pain so bad to where we wouldn't even be able to get him to swallow the pain medicine. So we didn't. we set the alarm clock through the night every three hours, but it was just not cutting it, he was crying and in pain, and that just continued and continued! finally by the second day and absolutely no sleep for anyone in the house I called the doctor and asked is this normal because he is in severe pain and the Tylenol and Ibuprofen just isn't cutting it? They told me yes it was normal and to just keep alternating and keeping his throat moist and give it time. So we just kept going and it just kept getting worse! After continually calling the doctor with my concerns, we started on a children's Lortab solution which seemed to help. It was a long horrible week, with Cody's pain and crying and every ones lack of sleep we were all emotional and I know of at least two times I completely broke down crying second guessing what we had done, and taking my frustrations out on my husband (which I later of course apologized for being a complete bitch)! We hated how he wouldn't turn his head at all and the weird voice that he would talk in. Bottom line, it sucked, but it is over now and I believe it was worth it!

I love family visits!

It was a great weekend! Corey's parents came up to visit, and of course it was a blast! I am super lucky because I have the best in-laws ever! We spent time in the kitchen drinking wine and cooking yummy dinners and catching up on whats new in all of our lives. Took a trip out to the motorcycle store where Corey bought a new helmet and vest for riding. Then a quick stop at the dollar store where Gammy and Papa loaded the kids up with fun corny toys, that the kids always love. One of the toys was a blow up balloon kit to wear they made animals and some pretty awesome hats! Then ending there last night with a  fun game of Yahtzee and root beer floats for the kids, were Riley kicked all of our butts, not once but twice in a row!!! Me and Corey have both decided that with this kids luck she is definitely taking a trip to Vegas with us when she is 21!! haha